I am typing this story into my phone (under the covers) while I am pretending to be asleep. So far, the pretending is working.

So... I'm going to start off this story by saying that I was not as off my period as I thought I would be... whoops! I found this out hours before he was supposed to come over... and I decided to proceed anyway.

You see, what had happened was....

I had asked a particularly attractive student (or something) to come over and bring a friend for my roommate (who has similar taste in men). He brought his attractive brother... or cousin or friend... I'm not sure, as he referred to him as all 3 at various points in the evening. 

Both he and his "brother" were very built, and 6'3" or so. #winning

Since I had no idea where my cocktail glasses were, since I still hadn't unpacked from my move (6 months ago), I decided to serve them sweet tea vodka in the ornate porcelain teacups (and accompanying saucers) that my godmother has been giving me every Christmas since childhood.

I was completely unable to look at them without laughing while they drank with their pinkies up. 

I couldn't even.

I finally got him away from the slutty/bazaar tea party and into my bedroom.

I was feeling really good about the situation when he took his shirt off and revealed his 8 abs. I felt even better when he pulled a few magnums out of his pocket.

Then he pulled a 45 caliber pistol out of his pants and set it on top of my makeup organizer.

Holy shit! That took a turn I wasn't anticipating. I have never had a man pull out a gun in my bedroom before (surprisingly).

"Um..." I started. "Did you think I would be a threat to your safety?"


He laughed. "I'm a street n*gga."

"What does that mean?" I asked sincerely.

"I dunno, it just means shit get rough sometimes."

I just nodded because I wasn't going to judge his journey... and also, I was afraid of upsetting someone with a loaded gun.

Despite the fact that I should have been more frightened than I was, I thought that things were still looking ok... until he took his pants off. Then things were just looking small... Like maybe 6 inches... And not overly girthy.

Shit! Not only was I not nearly as attracted to him anymore, but I was also going to have to insist that we use a smaller condom than the ones he brought.

I chastised myself silently for not asking for a dick pic first. That never ends well for me! And yet, I did it again! 

And now I was going to have to tell a man with a loaded gun that his dick wasn't as large as he thinks it is... I decided to wait until the last possible second to switch it out for my own condom (which I thought I had a few regular-sized condoms somewhere in my condom drawer).

He asked me to suck his (little) dick.

"Nah bruh..." I said awkwardly. 

"Come on, just put it in your mouth," he requested.

"I'm not really into that," I replied. And by "that," I meant "tiny penises," but didn't want to hurt his feelings (because I am a nice person... and also because of the gun).

I started to touch myself, hoping to shift the action to something that didn't involve his dick at all. He played along, fingering me poorly. 

I made it work. And by that, I mean that I touched myself until I came.

Then I pretended to be asleep. I know this wasn't the best way to handle my situation... but I wasn't/am not currently sure what the best way would be.

And now, here I am, hiding under my rainbow blanket, listening, and hoping that the armed stranger in my home doesn't steal anything or try to be inappropriate with my roommate.

Finally, I heard the door open and close. I jumped out of bed to go lock the door after him.

Unfortunately, 5 minutes later, he rang my doorbell. I let him in, and he gave his brother the key. He gave me an incredibly awkward one-armed hug on the way out. I could not turn the deadbolt fast enough.
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ABOUT ME

Empowered female.

PURPOSE

My raison d’etre is to bring about social equality. For women, such as myself, that means being empowered and empowering other women. There are so many aspects of our lives in which we can practice this, but I choose to focus on our sexuality, because it is a particular passion of mine. Men have been objectifying us for thousands of years. So why are we so late to the party? I enjoy sex (a lot), and I think you should too. I respect myself (a lot), and I think you should too. I would like to show you what this looks like for me. I will not embellish nor exclude any significant details, no matter how private social norms say they should be. It is time for women to step into the light, and start living every day exactly the way we desire. We no longer have to live under the thumb of a man. Nor do we have to live in his shadow. We will only live under the weight of his scrutiny so long as we allow ourselves to. Our self-worth is in no way determined by the opinions of men (or anyone else, for that matter), but by our own opinions of ourselves. No longer will our bodies be subjected to scrutiny, without scrutiny in return. No longer will a man with a child-sized penis feel that he has any ground to stand on when making disparaging remarks about a woman’s body. Fuck him and his little penis. We are strong, and we are worthy. We don't need permission.

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