I had high hopes for this one. He was ridiculously hot. He played rugby professionally (or something). More importantly, that meant that he had to work out A LOT. And his 8 abs were on point. 

Unfortunately, sex with him was like a (short) series of unfortunate happenings. 

But first... 

We went out to eat dinner. I know this isn't my SOP, but I am less confident in my ability to problem-solve in different countries... so I figured being in public first would be safer. 

While it was safe, it certainly wasn't enjoyable. He is one of those men who thinks he is brilliant and has the answer to everything. So he proceeded to tell me what's wrong with everything, from African politics to sports regulations to race relations. 

In case you want to give him the benefit of the doubt... No, he wasn't an activist. He wasn't doing anything about any of the problems he was so passionately bitching about. In fact, when I asked what he could do about it, he always answered with "Nothing can be done about it because <insert bullshit rationalization here>."

I ordered a small bottle of vodka and began drinking it immediately.

However, since I could really only understand about half of what he was saying (on account of his thick accent he claimed not to have), it really wasn't too bad to sit there and stare at his well-muscled arms. 

"Women have it better than men now. The government went too far. We need to have affirmative action for men now." It is so great to know that straight male privilege is thriving everywhere (that was the thickest sarcasm). I wouldn't have believed that even if I hadn't just spent the last couple of weeks working with a local women's empowerment group.

At one point during dinner (which seems to take several hours in Africa), he grabbed by hand, looked into my eyes, and asked me:

"Are you sexually active?"

WTF. So no one besides my doctor has ever asked me that.

"Do you mean to ask me if I intend to have sex with you?" I asked.

"Well... I was wondering because some people aren't sexually active," he stammered.

"Do you mean children and the elderly?" (The vodka had started to kick in).

"What?" 

"Never mind," I stated slowly. "I didn't offer to buy you dinner and drinks so that I could not get laid."

He just stared at me blankly. I started to think I was wasting my time (and considerable effort).

However, after dinner, he invited me back to his condo (which was surprisingly nice)! It was on.

So the first weird thing was that he was wearing two pairs of underwear (both of them briefs). Stranger yet, he left one of them on when he got into the shower. 

Thankfully, he emerged from the shower naked. His dick was pretty nice. Circumcised. It was probably 7 inches with commensurate girth. However, it was one of those where the shaft is wider in the middle... which is not my favorite.

Unfortunately, the sex was pretty tragic. I started on top, but he insisted on throwing off my rhythm. He was trying to thrust from his back, but completely off-beat. 

Fine, so he got on top... and that was much worse. He insisted on wrapping his arm around under my back and holding me too tightly, which kind of squashed my boobs. And (somehow) his arm was digging into my spine. How does that even happen?? Furthermore, he kept trying to rest his forehead on the side of my face. 

I kept telling him to give me some space, but I think it was lost in translation. Then every 30 seconds or so he would thrust really hard once.

"Ow! Stop that!" I said. It didn't really hurt (because his dick wasn't large enough to hurt me), but it was odd and disconcerting.  

I don't know who ever told him any of the things he was doing were a good idea.

The sex lasted about 5-10 minutes. Unacceptable.

I yelled at him. He tried to go to sleep. I yelled at him more.

He finally agreed to go again (it took like 30 minutes for him to get it back up). I see this as him being less of a man. 

"I want to have sex with you without a condom," he stated.

I laughed.

"I want to have sex with you without a condom," he repeated.

I laughed again, less amused this time.

"I want to have sex with you without a condom."

I was too drunk to deal with his shenanigans. "WANT in one hand. SHIT in the other. See which hand fills up faster."

He looked at me like I was crazy (he wasn't wrong about that) and then put the condom on.

The second time wasn't much better than the first, except that I made him stay on his hands (instead of his elbows), giving me room to breath (and have my spine remain out of the action that time). I basically touched myself while looking at his abs. 

Afterward, he asked me how it was. 

The nicest true thing I could think to answer was, "I made it work."

He drove me home in the morning, which was probably the most awkward car ride of my life. And it was a 2 1/2 hour car ride (thank you rush hour).
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ABOUT ME

Empowered female.

PURPOSE

My raison d’etre is to bring about social equality. For women, such as myself, that means being empowered and empowering other women. There are so many aspects of our lives in which we can practice this, but I choose to focus on our sexuality, because it is a particular passion of mine. Men have been objectifying us for thousands of years. So why are we so late to the party? I enjoy sex (a lot), and I think you should too. I respect myself (a lot), and I think you should too. I would like to show you what this looks like for me. I will not embellish nor exclude any significant details, no matter how private social norms say they should be. It is time for women to step into the light, and start living every day exactly the way we desire. We no longer have to live under the thumb of a man. Nor do we have to live in his shadow. We will only live under the weight of his scrutiny so long as we allow ourselves to. Our self-worth is in no way determined by the opinions of men (or anyone else, for that matter), but by our own opinions of ourselves. No longer will our bodies be subjected to scrutiny, without scrutiny in return. No longer will a man with a child-sized penis feel that he has any ground to stand on when making disparaging remarks about a woman’s body. Fuck him and his little penis. We are strong, and we are worthy. We don't need permission.

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